TEARS OF A TRULY BROKEN HEART.

okay, it was my fault to call the so called break.
but this break is breaking me. breaking me so bad, i feel like crying every single tear in my heart and soul because we're not the same people we fell in love with anymore, i miss you so soo soo soooooooooooo much and the thing is, i want to give you space, and let you miss me, but why do you have to miss me if i'm already here?

have your feelings changed? am i here just until you find someone else? i'm crying so much right now, like it's really killing me to see the person I want to be with, and the person I love push me away. Yes, we're working it out, but you don't know how crap i feel when you told me "we're just friends getting back together" after we did what we did.

I love you, i do, but if you could only know how much pain im going through right now, and if you could only know how sorry I am, and how much I want you to be the same guy I fell for, the same guy I love, the same guy I see when I look at you. I hate myself so much right now, yet you don't see how much pain i'm in. I don't know if you're in pain, but I just think you set your barriers really high, and I'm just so scared that I can't reach them or break them down.

I did you wrong in the past, and now MY PREVIOUS ACTIONS are haunting you, and letting you believe i'll do the same, but please please please please, don't make me believe you'll do something to haunt me, i'm so sorry. i'm sorry, but please just let me know we're gonna be okay, or give me just a sign or hope that we are, because i need to know that we are, cos i just don't wanna hurt anymore, i just dont.
i know i shouldnt be crying, but i'm really dying inside.